Lazy Days

It's a wet and dreary day here, and you & your sweet daddy are napping so I thought I'd write about something that's been on my mind since we left the hospital. This post unlike my others is more advise for other moms to be, as well as a good reference if daddy & I decide to provide you with some siblings down the line.

1) Take a deep breath, ok I know it sounds silly but seriously you will blink and your pregnancy will be nearing its end. It was the first week of May when James & I found out we were expecting Harper, from that point on I remember telling our families,the day we found out we were having a girl, the day my best friends found about our little princess,Marrying my wonderful husband (:, the day I announced my pregnancy on facebook (Ok yes I know that it's a silly memory but honestly I was very nervous about announcing it. Yes Harper was conceived out of wedlock, but she was not conceived without alot of love. James and I both knew we wanted to get married and have a family of our own..someday, but we both feel like God had a bigger plan for us and knew it was the right time to bring Harper into our lives. Hence my favorite saying, everything happens for a reason. Now what does this have to do with facebook? Considering the amount of family and friends I have on my page I was extremely worried about the negative comments I thought I'd receive. Because when your pregnant the slightest thing can make you cry, well like a baby. The judgemental comments never happened for me though, for which I am very thankful. With that said, stand your ground, not everyone may be all giddy that your pregnant but don't let others comments effect you. ) After announcing my pregnancy on facebook it seemed like time flew bye, our baby showers seem to stand out next and then Harper's arrival. I never thought 9 months could come and go so quickly.

2) Accept others advice but remember it is just that OTHERS advices. Only you know how you want to raise your child. (I think that's enough explanation there.)

3) Understand all aspects of labor and delivery. I had braxton hicks contractions as early as I believe 21 weeks with Harper, and I also had back spasms, and back labor for most of my pregnancy. Understand what that is, and how to treat it, seriously otherwise you will be in pain which is no fun at all. Understand how long labor can last, I was beyond blessed that I was only in labor for 5 hours and only had to push for 20 minutes, I know now that this is not typical for first time moms, and even for moms with multiple children. EAT! Ok another one I know that sounds silly, but it was over 12 hours between meals for me when I had Harper and trust me I was starving! The hospital will let you have ice chips that it, now I am not saying go eat a massive meal when your in labor because you will not like the consequences, eat a breakfast bar a banana, something light but filling. Do your research on epidurals! I can not stress this one enough, I have no idea why I though an epidural was just a shot in the back that magically made all your pain go away, umh no. Its an injection of wonderful numbing medicine through a catheter placed into your spine, leaving a small pic line that allows for doctors, nurses whoever to administer more epidural meds during labor. I nearly flipped my lid when I saw a line coming out of my back, seriously. While I do not regret having an epidural I do regret how much medicine I allowed them to give me. I had 3 rounds of epidural medicine in me when I delivered Harper, don't get me wrong I didn't feel a thing, like literally not a thing. I could not feel anything from the top of my belly down. The nurses has to put my legs in the stirrups for me and upon having Harper she didn't cry. I honestly believe it was from so much medication, because trust me my little lady can cry. It took over 6 hours before I was able to stand up by myself, let alone walk. & I never knew that there is something called a spinal headache, resulting from an epidural. After delivery I began having horrible migraines and being very light headed, lying down only makes me feel like the room is spinning, when I have one of these moments I have to sit straight up, drinking some form of caffeine in a dark room.I have to be careful of how I sit, stand, even roll out of bed, I'm managing but it is something that I never thought could happen. One last thing here, check with your hospital to see if they will provide you with ice packs. Ours used baby diapers filled with ice, and trust me it will help you SO much after delivery.

4) You will bleed, its a tmi thing I know but seriously its a major part of it so be prepared. The hospital will provide (ours did at least) mesh underwear and pads use them. Mine were boy shorts and weren't uncomfortable, regardless it was nice not to have to dirty the ones I had brought from home because that's just more laundry you will have to do afterward. & having a baby increases your laundry ALOT! Talk with the nurses about clotting, know how much is to much and what you should expect once you get home. Also stock up on pads not only from the hospital but of an everyday brand; you will use them I promise. Final note here, remember pitocin makes you swell, I look huge in all my predelivery pictures! I had no idea how swollen my face got till I saw the pictures days later.

 5) Make time for yourself, both before the baby is born and after. It is hard, even harder to do when your little bundle(S) arrive but you have to take time for yourself for your own mental/emotional well being. I read so much the last 2 weeks before Harper arrived, messed with her scrapbook, painted, shopped (which resulted in swollen feet of course) and found activities to make me happy & keep me occupied. Now that I am on the reverse end I can honestly say it only gets harder. Naps and long showers are a luxury, without my husband I don't know how I would make it. I have gotten the most relaxation "me time" from the simplest of things. I colored my hair for the first time in over a year, I take a long shower or bath while shes napping or hubby's watching her. I get up everyday and get dressed, I may not always put my make-up on but it still makes me feel more human. I still haven't driven or even left the house by myself, but I am working towards that.

 6) Don't forget about your significant other, make sure they still feel wanted, loved and appreciated too (especially important after baby arrives). I leave little notes for James all time, make sure to tell him thank you and how much I appreciate & love him everyday. I make his favorite meals, and let him sleep late when I can because other than the fact I love him unconditionally and he is my husband, he is also the father of my child, and without him I would never have been blessed with her.

 7) When preparing for baby have some help, seriously. My doctor threatened me with bed rest, and put me on it so many times because I wouldn't behave. Its not easy cleaning a house when your newly pregnant and nauseous all the time.. imagine how it feels at 9 months when your carrying a 6+ pound baby around, don't be afraid to ask for help! Personally I totally sucked at this because I didn't want to seem needy, or unable to provide for my family but I paid for my foolishness a few times by going into preterm labor.With that said when you do start to arrange the nursery be as organized as possible. It has been a lifesaver to be able to easily find whatever I may need in the middle of the night when I may or may not have a cooperative baby on my hands. I have all of her blankets in one place, clothes sorted by size, diapers and wipes easily reachable etc. Also realize the laundry, dusting, dishes can wait. I am a neat freak plain & simple and its been hard to see my once spotless house because less tidy, but I have also realized that all of that is not important, spending time with my family is. James & I select a day, that were both home to clean up the house. Its nice to tag team certain projects & helps us get done just that much faster. Also one of the best pieces of advice I received was to premake meals. It has been such a God send to go into my freezer and pull out a healthy meal for James and I on days I don't have the energy to prepare a full meal. My crock pot is seriously becoming my new best friend, and now that I know how to do freezer meals I will continue to do so in the future.

8) Buy nursing bras whether you plan to breastfeed or not, trust me when I say I tried too skip this part, but ended up paying for it in swollen & bruised tatas. & When it comes to buying clothing during pregnancy don't skip out on buying a few nice things. I bought 2 pair of jeans and 2 shirts. . . but was blessed to receive garbage bags full of clothes ( which I am now passing onto others). But it is nice to feel pretty in your clothing especially when you feel like a beached whale.

9) Speaking of clothes, have you considered what to pack for the hospital? Here is what I packed that I actually used: 1 pair of jeans (that I wore to the hospital & to come home in) 2 shirts (one I wore into the hospital, and one out. I could have easily re worn the shirt I wore to the hospital because I had just changed out of my pjs but I used it as a back up shirt in case my other got dirty.) 1 to 2 nursing bras (I did not have these at the time I gave birth I had one regular bra that caused me a ton of discomfort.) 2 to 3 pairs of underwear (now I didn't use mine I used the hospitals but just in case you don't like the ones they provide you with). Toothbrush/paste, deodorant, face wash basically your everyday essentials. Nursing bra pads for when you start leaking. I also packed clothing for Harper, this was a personal choice but I'm very glad I did it. I packed her 3 outfits and 1 sleeper. 2 outfits for the day and one as her coming home outfit. I also packed a variety of sizes, Harper is very small so even newborn clothes swallow her, so the large 0 to 3 months I packed was out of the question, hence why its good to pack a variety! Now to what I packed a shouldn't have: Any type of sleepwear, you will be in a hospital gown from the moment you arrive until right before you leave there is no need to pack anything extra, new shoes of any kind. . . my feet were to swollen to even fit the new house shoes I brought! Pads, like I said the hospital will prove you with some. Now to my extras list, this is things I brought & was so thankful I took : Nursing pillow to make feeding easier. I also packed a snack bag of fruits, breakfast bars and chips and it was so much easier than running to a vending machine in the middle of the night when hunger strikes; a roll of quarters for said vending machines because while you may get free drinks your significant other or family wont. My nook, it keep my husband happy & occupied while waiting on little miss and allowed us some entertainment after shed gone to the nursery for the night. Camera, this is a must plain and simple. As a photographer I wanted these perfect pictures of our day (that and pinterest gave me the idea) but its not always realistic. James took the best pictures he could and I love what he did, do I wish I had more? Yes but its part of it, and as I began to feel better I took the camera into my own hands to document whatever I could.

10) Document as much as you can. This blog has been a wonderful way for me to keep our friends & family at home and in other states updated even if I didn't get to blog as much as Id like to of. Take pictures of your baby bump, no matter how big you feel at the time you will look back at those pictures and miss it. As I've mentioned I also started Harper a scrapbook and its filled with everything you could imagine; lots of ultrasounds and regular pictures with detailed descriptions of the events, souvenirs from baby shower games (like the 11 sheets of toilet paper that went around my belly or the birth stat cards that were made)& souvenirs from the hospital, like all our id bracelets & cards. Also something I did and I'm really happy about looking back now is I documented her birthdays events, like the how I was progressing and how long everything took. One last thing, I take a picture a day of Harper, excessive? Maybe but its been amazing so far to see just how much she has changed in her 11 days on this earth.

11) Now this is one for after the baby arrives - put the cell phone down, the computer away, any & all technologies down when you are feeding/holding/changing your baby. You would not believe the bond you can create with your newborn just by looking into their eyes and giving them your whole hearted attention. That text message can wait, your fb status can wait (exceptions made for pictures! ha ha) give your baby your all & you will see a difference.
12) Enjoy this time, being pregnant is a wonderful and beautiful thing that is so very easy to take for granted. I know its hard sometimes and your back hurts all the time but trust me when I say the reward is worth every single second. Being a mom is the best thing to ever happen to me. I love my daughter more than anything in this world and it does my heart good to see her smile. Now for the time being at least this is all the advice I have to give. I hope this helps someone else, or even myself again some day. ♥